Day Seven - "Wait...you're all wearing wigs, aren't you?"

Films seen today: 4
Films seen so far this festival: 33
Films seen so far this year: 224

Dead Man's Cards

British film about an ex-boxer who becomes a bouncer at a seedy nightclub.

Quite possibly the worst film of the festival. A badly acted, badly written, badly shot and badly edited mess. It reminded me a bit of Guy Ritchie's appalling Revolver (officially the worst film of the year) in that there seemed to be something "important" going on that you were supposed to pick up on (e.g. minor characters 'shooting' the lead with plastic guns or fingers, or people telling him "You're dead!"). However, the script is so painfully inept that you're none the wiser as to what it all means (if anything) by the end. James McMartin (who looks a bit like Joey "The Lips" Fagin, from The Commitments plays Tom, an ex-boxer whose dodgy eye injury has forced him into retirement. He's married to Samantha Janus but he doesn't seem all that happy about it and she's barely in the movie anyway. Then a chance encounter with the bloke from The Full Monty (Paul Barber, playing, er, Paul) leads to a job as a nightclub bouncer and from then on the plot is all about pissing off the local crims to the point where they want revenge with "shooters". Frankly, I lost interest long before the end, largely thanks to McMartin's abysmal performance - I can only assume he once saved the producer from drowning or something. Barber's usually pretty good in support, but he's given too much to do here and he ends up giving a weirdly monotonous performance. Tom Bell fares mildly better as nightclub-owner "Billy the Kid", but the guy playing the lead crim ("Chongi") isn't remotely scary and is guilty of some seriously bad Grange Hill-style acting. There are plenty of other reasons to dislike this film (Tom's "I can't work here anymore" scene comes from nowhere; characters are frequently just forgotten about etc) but I'm tired of talking about it. I pity anyone who went to see this based on the programme’s promise of “a poetic melancholy that recalls early Wong Kar-wai”. One star.

Mutual Appreciation

Low-budget American indie movie about a musician bumming around Brooklyn and developing an attraction for his best friend's girlfriend.

Admittedly, Dead Man's Cards had put me in a foul mood by this point, so perhaps I wasn't quite in the right frame of mind to enjoy this. Written and directed by Andrew Bujalski, it stars Jason Rice as Alan Peoples, a Boston musician who comes to Brooklyn after the acrimonious break-up of his band and spends his days bumming around Brooklyn and crashing out with his friend Lawrence (Bujalski) and Lawrence's girlfriend Ellie (Rachel Clift). Bujalski's influences are writ large for all to see - his characters spend the whole film talking and not actually doing much, cf Jim Jarmusch, John Cassavetes, Whit Stillman, Eric Rohmer, etc. This would have been fine if a) the characters had been likeable instead of incredibly annoying and b) if the film had been 80 minutes long instead of almost two hours. Instead by the 100 minute mark I was stifling shouts of "Just SHUT UP! You are saying NOTHING!" There were, admittedly, a couple of good scenes (Bujalski taking the director's role that little bit further by exposing his arse so Alan and Ellie can decide whether Lawrence has ass-cancer; Alan being bullied into dressing up as a girl; Alan's brief relationship with Seung-min Lee's cute radio DJ) but these scenes are few and far between. Two stars.

Stephanie Daley

Drama starring Tilda Swinton as a forensic psychologist investigating the case of a 16-year-old girl charged with murdering her newborn baby.

This is an intriguing, thought-provoking and ultimately devastating drama with superb performances by both Tilda Swinton and Amber Tamblyn (from The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants). Swinton plays forensic psychologist Liddy Crane, who is in the midst of recovering from her own recent stillbirth when she’s asked to investigate the headline-grabbing case of “Ski Mom” Stephanie Daley (Tamblyn), a 16-year-old girl who gave birth while on a ski-ing trip and was subsequently accused of murdering her newborn child. As Crane gradually gets Stephanie to open up, she uncovers several disturbing details, such as the fact that she was coerced into sex by an older boy at a party (the film stops short of crying rape by deliberately obscuring the issue of consent, but it’s an uncomfortable scene to watch). Ultimately the case hinges on whether Stephanie knew she was pregnant and whether she was conscious of her actions at the time of the birth. The film is directed by Hilary Brougher, who has a real eye for visual detail – the scene of Stephanie’s blood-soaked footsteps through the snow makes an extremely effective opening sequence and there are several other arresting shots, such as an unusual close-up of a frog in the grass. There are a number of terrific scenes – highlights include a game of Murderball, Stephanie’s exchanges with her best friend Rana (X X, who was wonderful in The Squid and the Whale) and a horrific sequence that plays in total silence, with Stephanie giving birth in a toilet. The performances are superb – Tamblyn, in particular, is something of a revelation, while there’s strong support from Timothy Hutton (as Liddy’s husband), X (please cast her in more films, casting directors), and X X as Satin, a fat girl who used to be Stephanie’s best friend. It also has a chilling final line, which I’d be tempted to include, except for the fact that it gives too much away. Four stars.

Iceberg




















Steven Soderbergh Reel Talk

Meme-spotting

Someone gets hit with a boom in both Iceberg and Summer of ’04.

Coming soon

Day Eight - Hotel Haribati, loudQUIETloud: A film about the Pixies, Air Guitar Nation, Wide Awake, Walking to Werner, The Oh in Ohio.

Day Nine - Next Door, Snowcake, Who Needs Sleep?, This Film Is Not Yet Rated, The Treatment.

Day Ten - The Page Turner, The Killing of John Lennon, Sheitan.

Day Eleven - The Ring Finger, The Prodigy, Brian DePalma Reel Talk, The Uncertain Guest.

Day Twelve - Brothers of the Head, Lives of the Saints, Black Brush, Cargo, Surprise Film: Keane, Air Guitair Nation Aireoke Party (complete with pictures).

Day Thirteen - An Inconvenient Truth, 3 Degrees Colder, The Aura.

Day Fourteen - Driving Lessons "Tea Party", Life and Lyrics, Shut Up And Shoot Me.

Day Six - "The dog has spoken."

Films seen today: 4
Films seen so far this festival: 29
Films seen so far this year: 220

The Lost

Independent American drama about a small-town psychopath, based on the cult novel by Jack Ketchum.

This is very good but the sickening violence at the end has probably killed its chances of getting a decent release. Shame, because until the climax, it’s an enjoyably pulpy study of a small-town psychopath. I haven’t read the Jack Ketchum novel on which it’s based, but I’m certainly going to try and track it down. (A credit at the end reads: “If you liked the movie, read the book. If you didn’t like the movie, read the book.”) It’s set in a small town in the American Midwest and stars Marc Senter (sure to be a household name among film fans by this time next year) as Ray Pye, a charming, eye-liner-wearing sociopath who could have stepped out of a 1950s biker movie. The film opens as he commits a brutal murder and then we flash forward four years and discover that Ray’s still walking around because the police couldn’t make the case stick, despite him being the only suspect. Ray continues to deal drugs and have sex with a string of teenage girls, but cracks are beginning to appear: an ex-cop’s girlfriend, Sally (Megan Henning) has gone undercover at his mum’s motel to spy on him, while his erstwhile girlfriend Jen (Shay Astar, who looks a lot like Aisleyne from Big Brother 7) and his best friend Tim (Alex Frost), who both witnessed the murder, are close to breaking point. On top of that, he meets Katherine (Robin Sydney), a beautiful woman from a rich background and finds himself falling in love with her. But is she just after a walk on the wild side or does she have something else in mind? There are some unusual character touches in the film, such as the relationship between Sally and her 60-year-old cop boyfriend, Ed (character actor Ed Lauter, who really ought to make more movies) and Ray’s bizarre walking style, which a caption at the beginning informs us is the result of Ray putting beercans in his boots to make himself look taller. Director Chris Sivertson displays a definite sense of style and uses some effective techniques, such as a speeded-up sequence of Ray angrily trashing a hotel room. There’s a subtle Twin Peaks vibe to the small town sequences that works well. The performances are all good (particularly Megan Henning) but the film really belongs to Senter, who thoroughly inhabits the role and even manages to elicit glimmers of sympathy before the horrific, blood-soaked climax (think Sharon Tate) completely obliterates that. Not for the weak of stomach but definitely worth seeing. Four stars.

Snakes On A Plane

FBI Agent Samuel L Jackson fights a bunch of snakes. On a plane.

Not strictly an Edinburgh Film Festival film, admittedly, but the fact that there were no press screenings for this at all meant that I had to see it at the first available public screening. And it was fantastic . Has any film ever delivered so completely on its premise as Snakes On A Plane? I don’t think so. After about 30 minutes of character build-up (during which you can have fun trying to guess who’s going to get “snaked” first), a crate-load of deadly poisonous serpents are released on a plane (in order to ensure that FBI Agent Samuel L Jackson’s key murder witness doesn’t make it to trial, since you asked) and all hell slithers loose. The film’s directed by David R. Ellis, who knows a thing or two about enjoyably trashy thrillers, having directed both Cellular and Final Destination 2. Sure enough, though many of the snake-related deaths are played for laughs (a couple getting snaked while joining the Mile High Club; a man acquiring an unwanted trouser snake during a bathroom visit; a snake emerging from the cleavage of an overweight woman), the film never descends into farce, despite its clearly ridiculous premise. Jackson is terrific, barking out a series of hilarious lines (“Sporks?” and, in one glorious sequence, zapping snakes with a tazer gun. Julianna Margulies (hot off a great guest spot on The Sopranos provides the “sky candy” as resourceful flight attendant Claire, while there’s amusing support from Rachel Blanchard (as a thinly-veiled Paris Hilton clone), Kenan Thompson (who gets all the best lines that aren’t allocated to Jackson, as a rap star’s reluctant minder), and David Koechner as the chauvinistic co-pilot. Basically, you could make a list of everything you wanted to see in a movie called Snakes On A Plane and by the end of the film you’d have everything ticked off. Put simply, it’s the most fun I’ve had in a mainstream Hollywood film this year. Five (yes, five) stars.

Wristcutters – A Love Story

Offbeat indie love story set in an after-life for suicides, starring Patrick Fugit and Shannyn Sossamon

Normally I can’t stand Shannyn Sossamon, so I was expecting to have reservations about this, but I have to admit, this is the first film I’ve liked her in. Patrick Fugit (from Almost Famous) plays Zia, a heartbroken twenty-something who kills himself after he’s dumped by his girlfriend Desiree (Leslie Bibb, still not quite a big star, though she’s getting there). However, Zia winds up in a purgatory populated exclusively by other suicides and where everything is more or less the same as in the real world, “just a little worse”. Zia meets a host of eccentric characters, each of whom are introduced with a short, frequently blackly comic flashback showing how they “offed”. When he discovers that Desiree also committed suicide he hooks up with Russian misfit Eugene (Shea Whigham) and moody Gothic hitchhiker Mikal (Shannyn Sossamon) and they embark on a road trip, in a car that just happens to have a black hole under the front seat. The script is quirky, inventive and frequently funny – the bickering relationship between Eugene and Zia is a definite highlight (“I am not sitting in back. Everyone knows that man in back does not have cock.”) There are also superb cameos from Tom Waits (as the mysterious Kneller) and from Arrested Development’s Will Arnett as a kind of afterlife cult leader. This doesn’t have distribution as yet, but fingers crossed that someone picks it up, as it deserves a decent release. Four stars.

Summer ‘04

German thriller starring Martina Gedeck as a 40-year-old German woman whose idyllic family life is thrown into disarray by the actions of her son’s 12-year-old girlfriend.

I saw Martina Gedeck in Atomised recently but I hadn’t twigged that she was the actress from Mostly Martha until I read the programme notes for this. She stars as Miriam, a 40-year-old German woman holidaying in her summer house by the sea, together with her husband Andre (Peter Davor) and her 15-year-old son Nils. However, her idyllic family life is shattered by the arrival of Nils’ precocious 12-year-old girlfriend Livia (Svea Lohde) and the two engage in a sexual tug-of-war for the affections of Bill (Robert Seeliger), a handsome middle-aged man that Livia picks up during an afternoon of sailing. Director Stefan Krohmer maintains a superbly tense atmosphere throughout and you’re never quite sure what’s going on in the character’s minds and how much they’re lying to everyone. The performances are superb, particularly Gedeck, who deserves to be as well known over here as, say, Emmanuelle Beart. There are a couple of quietly shocking scenes and the film builds to a powerful climax. One of the films of the festival. Four stars.

Day Five – “Can you imagine how big Jesus would have been if only he’d played the guitar?”

Films seen today: 5
Films seen so far: 25
Films seen so far this year: 216

Change of Address

French drama about a French horn teacher with crushes on both his kooky female flatmate and one of his students.

A friend of mine summed this up perfectly on the Guardian Film talkboards: “What happens if Ross from Friends moves in with Phoebe and none of the others are around?” Writer-director Emmanuel Mouret (who has an amusing hangdog expression and looks a lot like Sean Hughes) stars as David, a French French horn teacher looking for a room to rent. After meeting ditzy blonde Anne (Fanny Valette) he’s soon sharing both her apartment and her bed, despite her professed attraction to someone else. (The scene where they sleep together while both fantasising (out loud) about the people they fancy is extremely well done and very funny). Evidently David’s not much of a one for boundaries because apart from fancying his flatmate he also falls in love with Julia (Audrey Tautou-alike Ariane Ascaride) one of his music students. After a shaky start, things seem to be going well with Julia…until they meet smooth-talking restauranteur Julien (Frederique Bel) when he stops a bag-snatcher from stealing her bag. This is a beautifully written, achingly funny film that will strike a chord with anyone who’s ever had their dream girl stolen from right under their nose. There are some lovely scenes, particularly the montage of Anne and David playing Monopoly, having sex and just hanging out. The performances are lovely too – Valette basically is Phoebe from Friends, though she looks a lot like Hope Davis. Frederique Bel is extremely good as Julien – it would have been very easy to make that character objectionable and it’s to Mouret’s credit that he never goes down that route. As a result the film perfectly strikes balance between heart-breaking and funny. Four stars.

Colour Me Kubrick

British drama based on a true story, starring John Malkovich as a conman who impersonated Stanley Kubrick.

Subtitled “A true…ish story”, this is an engaging, frequently funny comedy-drama with a superb performance by John Malkovich. He plays homosexual con-man Alan Conway, who spent a large part of the 1990s impersonating legendary reclusive director Stanley Kubrick, even though he appears not to have actually watched Kubrick’s films or learned his filmography. The film isn’t especially deep – we never, for example, really get to know Conway or understand just why he did what he did – but it’s no less enjoyable for that. There are some wonderful touches throughout, such as the film being scored with classical tracks from Kubrick’s films. This is frequently used to amusing effect, such as Thus Spake Zarathustra playing over a scene of Conway going to the laundrette, or a telephone ringing in time with The Blue Danube. Malkovich is clearly having a lot of fun, using a variety of weird accents and getting thoroughly carried away with the whole thing (“Little Tommy Cruise would like a part…”). There are also a series of increasingly bizarre celebrity cameos scattered throughout (e.g. Leslie Phillips, Honor Blackman, Richard E Grant, Peter Bowles, the woman who played Nurse Gladys Emmanuelle on Open All Hours, etc), culminating in the frankly astonishing sight of Jim Davidson playing a Dick Emery-type entertainer and singing “Hello…is it me you’re looking for?”. (I’m a confirmed Davidson hater, but it has to be said, he’s very, very good in this). The only time the film loses its way is during the asylum sequence (“I’m Stanley Kubrick!” “No, I’M Stanley Kubrick!” etc), when his fellow patients (Ken Russell, Shaun Parkes and Peter Sallis – that’s how weird this film is) are all mugging horribly and it looks very amateurish. There’s also strong non-comic support from Bryan Dick (who should be Doctor Who after David Tennant – the campaign starts here) and Robert Powell as a journalist, who, for some reason, is the only character who talks to the camera. Worth seeing, assuming it gets a proper release – at the time of writing, a) it doesn’t have one and b) it’s already available on DVD in France. Three out of five stars.

Twelve and Holding

American indie drama about three twelve-year-old kids dealing with the death of one of their friends.

This shot straight into my Top Five of the Festival. Directed by Michael Cuesta (who made L.I.E), it stars Conor Donovan as Jacob, a shy 12-year-old boy with a port-wine stain on his face, whose charismatic twin brother Rudy is killed in a traumatic tree house fire caused by some neighbourhood bullies. The film then follows the impact of Rudy’s death on his small circle of friends, including neglected psychiatrist’s daughter Malee (Zoe Weizenbaum) and overweight Leonard (Jesse Camacho). Malee develops a huge crush on one of her mother’s patients (Jeremy Renner, in what can only be described as “the Sam Rockwell role”) while Leonard decides to rebel against his overweight family and get into shape. Meanwhile, Jacob plots revenge on the two bullies that started the fire. The performances are terrific – these are characters you really care about and Cuesta’s superb direction really exploits that, ensuring that there’s at least one “hold your breath in fear” moment for each of them. Of the supporting cast, Renner is easily the stand-out in a complex part, but there’s also good work from Annabella Sciorra as Malee’s mother and 24’s Karen Hayes as Jacob’s mother. There’s also a really weird cameo by Tony Roberts (from Woody Allen’s “early, funny” films) as a doctor. The script is superb, achieving an effective balance between scenes that are darkly funny and occasionally shocking, while the climax is nothing short of devastating. Unmissable. Five stars.

Gretchen

Low budget American indie comedy about a geeky high school girl with RAGE issues.

This was something of a disappointment, although, as with In Between Days, the distorted sound on the Video Projection Unit in Cineworld 5 is partly to blame as it was literally painful to listen to at times. The programme write-up gets this exactly right with its description of Gretchen as “like a cross between Napoleon Dynamite and Welcome to the Dollhouse”, but it’s not quite as good as the comparison suggests (for one thing, the casting of slightly older adults as high school kids doesn’t really work). Courtney Davis (who looks like a slightly chubbier Amy Adams) plays Gretchen Finkle, a nerdy, awkward girl in love with local bad boy Ricky (John Merriman). However, when Ricky turns his attentions elsewhere (“Ricky likes sluts”), Gretchen gets an attack of RAGE and takes her revenge. This lands her in the Shady Acres Centre for Emotional Growth where she falls for yet another bad boy with the same consequences, prompting her psychiatrist to ask her, “Gretchen, do you know what a pattern is?” As with Napoleon Dynamite there are some great lines (“Love is not against the rules!” “Actually, it is”), several off-the-wall moments (Gretchen throwing a toilet seat) and some extremely funny physical details (e.g. Gretchen’s “stealth” running style; a hilarious “rave” sequence), but the good bits are few and far between and the film makes its 98 minute running time seem remarkably long. Having said that, I’d like to see it again without the sound distortion, because I bet it’s funnier second time round. Two stars for now, with one in reserve.

Destricted

Porn. But by respected arthouse directors, so it’s alright.

Yet another nightmare in store for the chaps at the BBFC. Destricted features a group of arthouse and mainstream directors –including Matthew Barney, Sam Taylor-Wood, Marco Brambilla, Gaspar Noe and Larry Clark – turning their hand to, ahem, “erotica”. Or, to give it its proper name, porn. I was annoyed to discover that there are actually another two films that were supposed to be included, but Edinburgh apparently only chose to screen five of them. It’s their prerogative, of course, but I wish they’d at least mentioned it in the programme notes. Anyway, the result is something of a mixed bag. Barney’s film begins with a five minute close-up of an inert cock, which slowly becomes erect and that part of the film works really well. However, the rest of it features a man (apparently Barney himself) going to extraordinary lengths to have a wank, with the aid of what looks like a large potter’s wheel and a turnip up his arse. At least, I think it was a turnip. His “clay” also appears to be made of ejaculate and he keeps rubbing himself on it as it turns. Really, it has to be seen to be believed. And it really should come with a “Kids – don’t try this at home!”-style warning. Brambilla’s film only lasts about two minutes but it’s easily the best of the lot. It’s comprised of a rapid compilation of images from sex scenes, from both mainstream and pornographic films (I recognised Sherilyn Fenn’s hairstyle from the shower scene in Two Moon Junction but that was it), set to a great soundtrack and edited so that the images seem to overlap each other and the performers are in the same positions. I’d estimate that there are only maybe two or three frames of each film, so it would be…er…illuminating to go through a DVD copy of it. It could be like a picture round in a film quiz or something. Or not. Sam Taylor-Wood’s film was, frankly, ridiculous and featured an actor having what looked like a very painful wank in the desert. At one point he’s leaning over on one elbow on painfully rocky ground. Also he doesn’t seem to be enjoying it very much and surely that’s the point? I’m not sure he even finishes, but he lets out a giggle-inducing sigh when he finally stops and his facial expressions (it’s all in a medium shot) are equally amusing. I also couldn’t stop imagining the cameraman shouting “Come on, hurry up – the light’s going!” Larry Clark’s film is basically a “casting couch”-style porn film but all the non-sex bits are really good – ironically the film would have worked much better without the explicit sex. Anyway, Clark (mostly off-camera) interviews a series of male would-be porn stars, all of whom are either in their late teens or early 20s. He asks them all about their porn experiences and their sex lives, before asking each of them to strip off, the old perv. He then chooses one and the lucky winner (a skinny, vaguely Gothic, sensitve-type – let’s call him Teen X) gets to interview a series of porn starlets (again requiring them to get naked) before choosing one to shag on camera. The interviews themselves are quite interesting and all the porn stars come across really well, except the 40 year old one, who is clearly bonkers. Yet that’s who Teen X chooses. The sex scene itself is pure hardcore porn and the only other interesting bit is that Clark keeps the camera running for the rather messy santorum-related business during the anal sex scene (if you don’t know what santorum means, google it), resulting in the woman amusingly exclaiming, “Woah, hang on – might have to stop for a minute…” halfway through and Teen X getting a little freaked out. The final film is by Gaspar Noe (who made Irreversible and Seul Contre Tous) and it basically involves a woman masturbating with a giant teddy bear and a man having sex with a blow-up doll (before putting a gun in its mouth). They also appear to be watching the same porn film, even though they’re in different bedrooms. All very basic, you might think, except –ah ha!- Noe has added strobe lighting. Truly, the man is a genius. No, not really – his film was almost as bad as the desert wank one and it seemed to go on forever. On balance, it’s probably a three star film overall, since the good or average films outweigh the bad ones. It is apparently getting a cinema release as well, so knock yourselves out.

Meme-spotting

Stretching this a bit now, but Gretchen’s comical running style in Gretchen is remarkably similar to Ned’s in Neo Ned.

Day Four – “Tuesday has become a very serious problem.”

Films seen today: 7
Films seen so far: 20
Films seen so far this year: 211

Princess

German drama about a gang of four young women on a run-down housing estate.

I had one of those weird experiences with this, where you arrive after the film’s started but then it suddenly turns out you’re watching a short film (in this case Live Boys by the same director as Princess). Anyway, I’d heard good things about this, and it was enjoyable enough but nothing special. The somewhat ironic title (explained, rather brilliantly in the final shot) refers to a gang of four young women who live in a run-down housing estate in a West German suburb. In the opening scene, Yvonne (the hardest-looking one, played by Henriette Muller) casually punches a female commuter in the face for no explained reason, causing one of her friends to remark “I’m really going to miss you, Yvonne.” Sure enough, it turns out Yvonne’s going to jail, so the gang try and decide how to spend her last day of freedom. However, Yvonne’s not actually planning on going to jail at all and hatches an alternate plan. Meanwhile, Katharina (Irina Potapenko) conducts a half-hearted relationship with a train-spotting boyfriend, while sexually aggressive Jenny and precocious Mandy are just happy to tag along and don’t really get plots of their own. There are some good scenes, particularly a rather startling slapping scene towards the end (perhaps more shocking because it’s been established that the, er, slapper works as a nurse) and a neat scene without dialogue in which Katharina helps her neighbour throw some plastic Christmas trees down the garbage chute. Director Birgit Grosskopf (seriously? Her surname is “Bighead”?) also achieves a neat effect by having firecrackers constantly going off throughout the film, a bit like the scene with Alfred Molina in Boogie Nights only not as horrible. Three stars.


The Right of the Weakest

Belgian drama by Lucas Belvaux, about a group of laid-off steelworkers planning a heist.

I was really looking forward to this, because writer-director Lucas Belvaux’s Trilogy was one of the most exciting film experiences of the year back in 2003. Set in the French industrial town of Liege, The Right of the Weakest (or La Raison du Plus Faible, original-title fans) stars Belvaux as Marc Pirmez, an ex-con determined to go straight. Visiting his local pub, he soon falls in with a group of steelworkers who’ve recently been made redundant and it isn’t long before a plan is hatched to rob the steel factory safe. It’s extremely well acted and you really care about the characters, particularly Belvaux, who has a fascinating face. There are some superb scenes too, such as when Mark forces Robert to imagine a robbery going wrong, or when “Bob” tries on disguises and plays with the guns like a little kid. The tension builds brilliantly throughout and by the end you’re almost begging them not to go through with it. The programme’s description of the film as “Ken Loach meets Jean-Pierre Melville” is so good that it’s worth repeating here. An astonishing final shot, too. Four stars.

London to Brighton

British drama about a prostitute and a young runaway who flee to Brighton in order to escape some dangerous criminals.

This is the first feature by British writer-director Paul Andrew Williams, who looks set to be a talent to watch in years to come. It stars Lorraine Stanley as Kelly, a prostitute who has taken 11-year-old runaway Joanne (Georgia Groome) under her wing. The film opens with a distressed and beaten-up Kelly forcing Joanne to hide in a toilet cubicle while she quickly makes enough money for them to get away. They then flee to Brighton and it quickly becomes clear that some dangerous criminals are after them, including Kelly’s pimp, Derek and a mob boss’ son. The cleverly structured script layers in intermittent flashbacks, in which we discover how Joanne and Kelly met and what exactly happened to make them go on the run. This is a cut above the usual British gangster rubbish, with strong dialogue and two lead characters you really care about. The performances are excellent, particularly Stanley. There’s also strong support from Johnny Harris and Nathan Constance as the two main crims, both of whom are terrifying but in subtly different ways – Harris, in particular, does well to make his character even remotely sympathetic. There are some terrific scene here, particularly the nail-bitingly tense finale. Heart-breaking final shot. Four stars.

Red Shoes

South Korean horror movie about a pair of red (actually pink) shoes that chop people’s feet off.

I might as well put my cards on the table here – Asian horror movies are probably my least favourite genre. They always seem to end up the same way, with lots of screeching on the soundtrack, jarring musical notes to let you know where the scares are, a fondness for flickering lights and a load of incomprehensible stuff involving ghosts and hair. Sadly, Red Shoes is no exception. Basically it’s about a pair of red (actually pink, but everyone calls them red) shoes that cut your feet off if you nick them off their rightful owners or something. There’s lots of blood and some very nasty imagery but it wears out its welcome way before the end. Worse, an already bonkers storyline is rendered totally nonsensical by some truly atrocious editing, to the point where it’s impossible to tell what’s a dream sequence, what’s flashback, what’s fantasy and what’s reality. (If you can work out how the little girl ends up in hospital then you were paying way more attention than I was). It doesn’t help that the character of the daughter is really, really annoying. However, it does have an intriguing central relationship between the lead character and her, er, interior designer. The programme notes describe this as a homage to Powell and Pressburger’s The Red Shoes but I’m not convinced, because why make the shoes pink if that’s the case? I bet they’re calling the shoes pink in Korean. Two stars.

Someone Else

British romcom starring Stephen Mangan as a feckless 30-something who can’t decide between two women.

Watchable but ultimately disappointing British romcom which will be very lucky indeed if it wangles a proper release. Stephen Mangan (“You may remember me from Green Wing and that coffee ad where I walk across the washing line”) plays David, a feckless 30-something cheating on Lisa, his girlfriend of three years (played by Susan Lynch), with flighty Nina (Lara Belmont, from The War Zone). However, as soon as he plucks up the courage to leave Lisa, Nina dumps him, leaving him bouncing around his friends (including married Shaun Dingwall and terminally single Christopher Coghill), wondering where it all went wrong. And that’s actually pretty much it. Ultimately this doesn’t work because we don’t care enough about David’s happiness (he is, after all, an unutterable bastard) and it’s not funny or romantic enough to work as a romcom. That said, the script is well-observed in places and there are several good lines and moments. Two stars. Must Try Harder.

One Fine Day

Belgian comedy starring Benoit Poolevorde as Francois, one of life’s losers who wakes up one day to discover that he can do no wrong.

Not to be confused with the underrated George Clooney / Michelle Pfeiffer romcom, this was, frankly, brilliant, despite the fact that I had to go through four DVD players in the VideoTec before I could see it properly. Benoit Poolevorde (from Man Bites Dog) plays Francois, one of life’s perennial losers. Francois has become accustomed to his daily routine of constant misery, from problems with his ex-wife, to being ignored at work right down to an exploding coffee machine and noisy neighbours. However, one day he wakes up and everything is perfect: his coffee machine works, the neighbours are quiet, he gets promoted at work and the pretty girl he has a crush on sits next to him at lunch. The next day is the same and things just keep getting better and better for Francois. Surely it can’t last? There’s a definite hint of “Le jour de Groundhog” here and the clever script explores some intriguing ideas about happiness and what happens when you get everything you ever wanted. Poolevorde is terrific as Francois and the film is frequently hilarious and full of inventive touches, even if the surreal musical number seems a touch out of place (delightful as it is). Four stars.

In Between Days

Canadian drama starring Jiseon Kim as Aimie, a Korean teenager with a crush on her best friend Tran (Taegu Andy Kang).

I’d heard great things about this, but it was something of a disappointment, though how much of that was down to the appalling sound in Cineworld Screen Five is a matter of debate. Set in Toronto, this is yet another ‘young girl coming-of-age’ movie, this time starring Jiseon Kim as Aimie, a Korean teenager who has recently relocated to Toronto with her mother. Her best friend is Tran (Taegu Andy Kang), a Korean boy her own age, on whom she has a massive crush. However, Tran’s attentions are beginning to be drawn elsewhere. The film makes a virtue of its ultra-low budget DV origins and has some acute observations on the heartbreaks of adolescence but it doesn’t really work because Aimie is such a passive character. There are some nice scenes though and their friendship is genuinely moving, particularly when Aimie lets Tran sleep in her wardrobe. Two stars.

Conversations With Taxi Drivers (I)

As I blearily grabbed a cab to my 9am screening this morning (don’t start – I’ve got a massive blister, alright?), I got suckered into the following conversation with my taxi driver:

Taxi Driver (let’s call him Dave): “9 o’clock’s a bit early for a film. What’s that all about?”
Me: “I’m a film critic – it’s a press screening for the Film Festival. It’s supposed to be good.”
Dave: “A film critic, eh? What’s your favourite film of the last decade?”
Me (thrown, sleepy): “Er…let me think…probably L.A. Confidential .
Dave: Oh, aye. I haven’t seen that. Or maybe I have. Anyway, have you ever seen The Thin Red Line?”
Me: “Ha ha! Yeah.”
Dave: “Why do you laugh?”
Me: “Me and my friends argue about it all the time. They all say it’s a masterpiece but I’m not convinced.”
Dave: “You know the first scene? What did you make of that?”
Me: “Er…well, let’s see, that was well over a thousand films ago for me. Remind me?”
Dave: “It’s all about the Bible, see? There’s a snake and [Dave then proceeds to detail all the Biblical references in the film. Luckily we arrived at the screening just as we were getting to Noah’s Ark].

Meme-spotting

Both In Between Days and Deep have supposedly “cool” English-speaking characters called “Steve” that the leads almost have sex with.

Day Three - "What's wrong with the fucking Bee Gees, anyway?"

Films seen today: 6
Films seen so far: 13
Films seen so far this year: 204

Jindabyne

Australian drama based on a short story by Raymond Carver, about a group of men who find a dead body while on a fishing trip.

This was the film I'd most been looking forward to and it didn't disappoint. It's set in Australia and based on the Raymond Carver short story "So Much Water So Close To Home" (also used in Altman's Short Cuts), in which a group of men (Gabriel Byrne plus three Australian actors) go into the mountains for a fishing trip, find the body of a naked woman and decide to finish their fishing weekend before reporting it. However, it adds several other elements (the girl is from a local tribe so racial tensions erupt; Byrne's having problems with wife Laura Linney; the other characters have problems too etc) so the script is incredibly multi-layered. There's even a disturbing serial killer element that's reminiscent of Wolf Creek. Anyway, it's terrific. Great performances from Byrne and Linney, superb photography / use of landscape and a superbly written, complex script. Five stars.

Neo Ned

Drama starring Jeremy Renner as a neo nazi who falls in love with a black girl (Gabrielle Union) he meets at a mental institution.

Weird little indie film starring Jeremy Renner as Ned, a neo nazi who falls in love with Rachael (Gabrielle Union), a black girl he meets at a mental institution who thinks she’s Adolf Hitler. However, it really isn't the film that that summary might lead you to expect - there's no America History X-style violence, for one thing. In fact, it's surprisingly warm-hearted with a very funny script and a bizarre, yet strangely fitting feel-good / feel-bad finale. There are some terrific scenes (e.g. Ned attempting to woo Rachael with a crudely drawn picture of bees and swastikas) and some superb lines – as Ned says, “Just because I’m a racist, doesn’t mean I’m not sensitve.” Renner is a revelation – he’s utterly brilliant and really makes the character his own, right down to his odd little staccato laugh. Ned’s naïve and maybe a little crazy but he’s also sweet-natured with a child-like enthusiasm for life – his crushed delivery of the line “What about the zoo?” is heart-breaking. I hope it gets a proper release. Four stars.

Them

Thriller based on a true story, in which a French couple are terrorised by an unseen menace outside their house.
This wasn’t as good as it sounded. Based on a true story, it stars Olivia Bonamy and Michael Cohen as Clementine and Lucas, an expat French couple living in an isolated house in the woods outside Bucharest. One night, they are suddenly terrorised by an unseen menace outside their house. There’s no real way to discuss the film without revealing what that menace is so please look away now if you want to remain unspoiled. Basically it turns out it's kids, the little bastards, and according to the titles at the end, a group of around 5 10- to 15-year-old kids really did murder a French couple. Kids today, eh? Unfortunately, the film doesn’t really work. There was far too much wandering around the house and going "Eek!" at strange noises for my liking. There’s also an awful lot of just waiting for something to happen and when it finally does happen there’s just a lot of running and screaming. A horror-movie style prologue with a mother and daughter doesn’t do the film any favours either, as it’s misleading (particularly when the poster features three silhouetted kids in hoodies). Despite several cheap shocks and some admittedly effective low-level lighting the film just isn’t scary enough and you can’t help but wonder if telling it from the victims’ point-of-view wasn’t the wrong decision. Two stars.

The Sacred Family

Chilean drama about a son and his father competing for the attentions of the son’s self-obsessed girlfriend.

This was tedious beyond belief. The write-up said it was like an Eric Rohmer film and I suppose it was, only not in a good way. Annoying son Marco Jnr brings his self-obsessed girlfriend Sofia round to his parents' holiday home on the beach. His mother gets called away for the weekend and his dad, Marco Snr, tries to pull Sofia. Meanwhile Marco Jnr is off out getting off with his best friend (who hardly ever speaks and is therefore the best character), while a couple of gay students work through their own relationship problems in a neighbouring house. Admittedly, it sounds good from the description, but their conversations were excruciatingly dull. You know you’re in trouble when your peripheral characters (in this case the gay couple and the best friend) are a lot more interesting and sympathetic than all three leads. The ending's a bit rubbish too. One star.

Deep

Dutch coming-of-age drama starring Melody Klaver as a 14-year-old girl who discovers boys, sex and drugs while attempting to cope with her parents’ separation.

The Edinburgh Film Festival always seems to be full of films about young girls coming of age – for some reason these films don’t get the post-Festival distribution they deserve. Simone van Dusseldorp’s Dutch drama is a case in point, although it has a couple of underage (non-sexual) topless scenes which will probably render it persona non grata at the BBFC. This is a pity, because it’s beautifully made and very enjoyable. Melody Klaver stars as Heleen, a 14-year-old Dutch girl whose parents have just split up. As she and her brother are bounced around from one parent to the other (and their new partners) she begins to discover boys, sex and drugs, as a result of her childhood friend Axel (Stijn Kooms) and his “cool” American friend Steve (Damien Hope). There are several well-observed scenes and the general theme of “Boys are rubbish” is sure to strike a painful chord or two, though Hope almost lets the film down by virtue of being a terrible actor. There’s strong support from the rest of the cast though (especially Jorik Scholten as Heleen’s younger brother Emile) and Klaver is excellent throughout - she reminded me a lot of Lacey Turner (Stacey Slater on EastEnders) at times, while the film itself was reminiscent of Somersault with its use of close-ups (entire scenes are played out through close-ups of Klaver’s eyes) and generally gorgeous camerawork. Four stars.

Special

Low budget comedy-drama starring Michael Rapaport as a traffic warden who thinks his experimental pills have given him superhuman powers.

A good end to the day. Directed by Hal Haberman and Jeremy Passmore, this low budget indie (which -rejoice!- has a November release) stars Michael Rapaport (remember him?) as Les (pronounced "Less"), a traffic warden who starts taking some pills as part of an experimental drug trial. The pills are meant to reduce self-doubt but they make him think he's a superhero, with increasingly hilarious (or actually decreasingly hilarious, as the film gets darker as it goes on) results - the scene where he thinks he's telepathic is extremely clever and very funny. Rapaport is really, really good in it too - he must have been taking acting lessons in his absence. There’s also good support from Alexandra Holden (as a checkout girl with a stutter than Les has a crush on) and from Josh Peck as his comic-store-owning best friend. Three stars.

Meme spotting

Both Neo Ned and Little Miss Sunshine have a running gag with people trying to jump-start a car.

Day Two – “All that murder shit? Totally September 10th, Jerome.”

Films seen today: 3
Total films seen so far: 7
Total films seen so far this year: 198

Ants in the Mouth (Hormigas en la Boca)

Spanish thriller set in pre-revolutionary Cuba.

Kind of a Spanish Chinatown, this a pleasingly old-fashioned mystery story set in 1950s Havana, with a lead actor (Eduard Fernandez) who looks like a cross between Robert Downey Jnr, Clive Owen and Dexter Fletcher. Oh, and the lovely Ariadna Gil, who, I'm pleased to say, hasn't aged badly at all since I last saw her in 1997 or so. Fernandez plays Martin, an ex-con who’s just gotten out of jail after a ten year stretch for anti-government activities. He heads to Havana in order to track down his ex-girlfriend (Gil) who had absconded with a bag of cash belonging to Martin and his partners in crime. However, when he arrives in Havana he isn’t quite prepared for what he finds. There are shades of both Chinatown and Laura (which probably gives away a fairly major plot point, so sorry about that) in this stylish, sharply written thriller, as well as a hint of Altman’s The Long Goodbye, not least in a couple of violent scenes that come out of nowhere. The climax is, unfortunately, a little disappointing and the film could have done with being a shade or two darker but it’s still a solidly made, enjoyable thriller. Three stars.

The Host

Korean monster movie from the director of ‘Memories of Murder’

This is the second feature from pleasingly-named director Bong Joon-ho, after 2003’s Memories of Murder (which I still haven’t gotten around to watching, despite having had it on tape for almost two years). It was a huge hit at Cannes and apparently inspired a minor bidding war, with the result that Optimum are releasing it later this year. It’s in the same sort of league as Tremors and other schlocky American monster pictures like The Relic. After a knowing prologue in which an American scientist forces a hapless Korean lab assistant to pour tonnes of dangerous chemicals directly into the Han river, the film skips forward a few years (via an amusing interlude in which a fisherman is bitten by a tiny, unseen creature) when a giant, mutated (and entirely CGI) creature crawls out of the river and starts eating people, as monsters are wont to do. It’s up to a noodle-stall owner and the rest of his dysfunctional family (fuck-up son, resourceful granddaughter, resentful oldest son and, brilliantly, his bronze medal-winning daughter who would have taken the gold at archery but for her tendency to hesitate before she shoots. (You just *know* that’s going to come back to haunt her at some point). This is a lot of fun and it builds to a great finale, even if it does have a couple of dull stretches in the middle. It's probably funnier in Korean, too. Four stars.

Art School Confidential

Terry Zwigoff and Dan Clowes re-team for this follow-up to Ghost World, starring Max Minghella as an art student trying to find his voice.

I'm aware of the poor reviews this has had elsewhere but I'm pleased to say I really enjoyed it. It's basically an update of 50s teen flick High School Confidential mixed with the art school scenes from Ghost World and fans of the latter won’t be disappointed. Max Minghella plays Jerome, an art student trying to find his voice amidst his pretentious fellow students and falling for life model Sophia Myles. There’s also the small matter of a serial killer stalking the campus. John Malkovich puts in a rather wonderful turn as Jerome’s frustrated teacher (“How long have you been painting the triangles?” “I was one of the first”) and there are some great cameos from the likes of Steve Buscemi, Jim Broadbent and Angelica Huston. It’s not very tightly plotted and Sophia Myles is badly miscast but the dialogue is extremely funny and there are some wonderful scenes. Good ending too. (Plus, Ghost World fans will no doubt argue for ages as to whether the unnamed student in the bob, glasses and purple t-shirt is meant to be Enid or not. Personally, I vote yes). Four stars.

Meme-spotting

Both The Host and Sherrybaby had scenes where a young child pissed their pants out of fear.

Opening Night Party

Not much to report this year, really and I didn’t take any pictures either, despite having my camera with me all night. It was in a new venue (Cargo, on Fountainbridge), which was nice because there was room to stand around outside (with Edinburgh now being non-smoking in all bars, this is something of an issue). They’d laid on burgers, although I’d stupidly eaten immediately beforehand so I didn’t try one. They’d also done up the outside like the French Village Fete scene from The Flying Scotsman, which was quite impressive. The only stars I spotted were Brian Cox (who I wanted to talk to, but decided not to after hearing him tell people he was just about to leave) and Lovely Laura Fraser, who I had a 15 minute chat with, during which she forgave me for my imminent bad review of Nina’s Heavenly Delights. Well, she kind of did. She knew I wrote for Hotdog and she’d thanked me for my “honest opinion” on the film after I’d slagged it off. Which is kind of the same thing.

Day One – “You know what I’m afraid of? Cows.”

Films seen today: 4
Total films seen so far: 4
Total films seen so far this year: 195

Apart From That

Multi-character indie drama about the mysteries of ordinary suburban lives.






I chose this because the write-up in the EIFF programme name-checked Miranda July’s You, Me and Everyone We Know but it was ultimately kind of disappointing. After a weird and lengthy credits sequence in which all the characters are introduced but everyone talks over each other, Altman-style, this eventually focuses on just five characters: Peggy, an old woman who may or may not be senile; Ulla, a neurotic blonde woman who may or may not be cracking up; Leo, an Indian guy trying to get back together with his wife (at least I think that’s what was going on) and a Japanese-American father trying to bond with his weird and inexplicably WASPish young son, Kyle. It started well and there were some lovely scenes (e.g. Peggy stripping to her underwear and calling the fire brigade so they burst in on her; Peggy dancing in her driveway to a loud car stereo playing hardcore dance music) but at two hours long it rather outstays its welcome, particularly as it moves really slowly. Some nice ideas though. I liked Kyle’s friend’s “voice-activated television” (very Calvin and Hobbes) and Leo conquering his fear of cows by approaching cows and asking them “Are you death?”. It’s directed by Randy Walker and Jennifer Shanin and it’ll be interesting to see what they do when they get a more ruthless editor Two stars.

Sherrybaby

Indie drama starring Maggie Gyllenhaal as an ex-junkie who gets out of prison and tries to reconnect with her 9-year-old daughter.

This went straight into my top five of the festival, thanks to a wonderful performance by Maggie Gyllenhaal. She’s been one of my favourite actresses since Secretary but this is her first decent role in a really long time. She plays Sherry Swanson, a recovering drug addict who gets out of prison after serving three years for drug-related robbery and tries to reconnect with her 9-year-old daughter, Lexi, who’s being looked after by Sherry’s brother Bob (Brad William Henke) and his wife Lynn. At the same time she struggles with her addiction and tries to hold down a hard-earned job with children while keeping on the right side of her officious parole officer (Giancarlo Esposito). It’s a superbly written film with great characters (notably Danny Trejo as fellow ex-addict Dean) and some terrific scenes – one casually shocking scene in particular gives a heart-breaking insight into the source of Sherry’s problems. It’s, er, a great film for Shallow And Obvious Reasons too – Maggie spends almost every scene scene naked, topless or wearing a flimsy low-cut top, though I for one was glad when she hopped out of bed and turned the light out right before her sex scene with Danny Trejo. Superb film. Five stars.


The Flying Scotsman

Scottish drama based on the true story of Scottish cycling legend Graeme Obree, starring Johnny Lee Miller, Brian Cox, Billy Boyd and Lovely Laura Fraser.

An excellent choice for the festival’s opening film, this is a beautifully filmed Scottish drama which, at the time of writing is shockingly still without distribution. Johnny Lee Miller (he was married to Angelina Jolie, you know) stars as Scottish cycling legend Graeme Obree, who smashed the world one-hour cycling record on a home-made bicycle of his own design that he nicknamed “Old Faithful”. The film also touches on his background (he was severely bullied as a result of having a policeman for a father) and his constant battles with crippling bouts of depression. My first thought after seeing this was “Johnny Lee Miller in ‘Decent Performance’ Shock!” but that admittedly facetious comment shouldn’t detract from the fact that this is his best performance to date - his intense, haunted expression is perfect for Obree. There’s also strong support from Brian Cox and Lovely Laura Fraser as Obree’s long-suffering wife. First time director Douglas Mackinnon (no relation to Gilles, as far as I know) shoots everything in a surprisingly colourful palette and there are some nice comic touches too, largely from Billy “Comedy Hobbit” Boyd, though also from one of the cast of cult Scottish comedy Absolutely as one of Graeme’s sponsors. Steven Berkhoff is also on hand as an Evil Cycling Honcho who keeps banning Obree’s cycling positions. The cycling scenes are well handled, with some extremely impressive Steadicam work and the film itself is genuinely moving in places. Four stars. One question though – WHO is that gorgeous woman in the photos of Brian Cox’s dead wife?

Love Sick

Romanian film about a lesbian relationship between two university students.

Another film that, like Apart From That didn’t really live up to its initial promise, despite a relatively short running time. It stars Maria Popistasu and Ioana Barbu as Kiki and Alex, two university students in Bucharest who fall madly in love. It’s presented in a refreshingly non-sensational manner and there’s genuine chemistry between the two stars, but it seems odd that the film-makers decided to complicate things by having Alex struggling to escape from an intense relationship with…er…her own brother. It all perks up a bit towards the end but there’s a very boring middle stretch during which my eyes may have closed a little. It’s no Show Me Love, put it that way. Two stars.

Meme-spotting.

It often happens at Edinburgh that the similar (or occasionally identical) scenes will occur in different films. This year I’m going to attempt to catalogue them. Because, you know, I’m weird that way. Anyway, both Sherrybaby and Love Sick had scenes where someone aggressively tried to talk to the main character while the main character was on the phone.

The FilmHouse Film Quiz

I was asked to join a team for the legendary Edinburgh FilmHouse Film Quiz earlier tonight. Rather impressively, we won, scoring 138 out of a possible 142 points and trouncing 18 other teams in the process. It was an extremely hardcore quiz, comprising dialogue rounds, quote rounds, music rounds, picture rounds, Oscar rounds and all sorts of other things. It also lasted two and a half hours! So no early night for me. We won two crates of lager and The Respect Of Our Peers. The most impressive moment was when one of our team nailed the 12 point, 6 clue question after one clue (10 points for getting it at two clues, 8 points for 3 clues etc). The question? “Which star was born on October 16th, 1925?”

Edinburgh Film Festival 2006

Having successfully completed my goal of seeing over 365 films last year, it is my aim this year to beat last year’s total of 369 films. I’m basically aiming for an average of over a film a day, but I don’t think I’ll keep a running total of the days this year as it seems a little confusing now I look at it again. I’m also aiming to beat last year’s total of films seen at Edinburgh, but as the festival lasts two days longer this year (it’s the 60th anniversary, you know) that shouldn’t be difficult. Suffice it to say that if I see more than 47 films at Edinburgh this year it will be Mission Accomplished.

Anyway, I took the train up (a mere £46) and arrived just in time to pick up my press pass on Saturday afternoon, thanks to the efforts of a taxi driver who positively relished the opportunity to get me where I needed to go in a short space of time (“You do know there’s a parade on, sir? Ach, hang on – I’ll see what I can do…”). Settled in, hit a cocktail bar (Kohl, cocktail bar fans) and had a delicious Strawberry Smash before deciding that unless I wanted to be a) bankrupt and b) hungover, I’d probably better leave and get an early night, ready for the press screenings bonanza tomorrow morning.

An Apology

Talk about an Ode to Procrastination. I’ve put off finishing off last year’s Edinburgh Blog for an entire year now and here we are at Edinburgh time again. Shocking. I am, literally, crimson with shame. Still, onwards and upwards. I hereby solemnly swear to complete this year’s blog if it kills me. And who knows? Maybe I’ll be on such a high when I do that I’ll go back and fill in last year’s last couple of days…